Thursday, April 28, 2011

Ban Mother's Day

The first appearance of the concept of what became Mother’s Day was Julia Ward Howe’s call for a Mother's Day in the United States in 1870. It was her reaction to the carnage of the American Civil War and the Franco-Prussian War. It was her attempt to get women involved in shaping society politically. Mother’s Day was first celebrated in the US on 28 February 1909.

The first Father’s Day occurred in Fairmont, West Virginia, on July 5, 1908 and was a remembrance of 210 fathers lost in the Monongah mining disaster. Father’s Day was held as a celebration on June 19, 1910 in Spokane, Washington, when Sonora Smart Dodd decided to come up with a male equivalent to Mother’s Day to honor her father, a Civil War veteran who’d raised his children after his wife died in childbirth. Sonora was only 16 years old.

Father’s day almost didn’t happen. The idea was met with derision by many, who felt that it would be another step towards filling the calendar with meaningless promotions. Father’s Day was proposed to the US congress in 1913, but it was not until 1972 that it was finally signed into law as a holiday.

I believe that the fears of those who suspected that these days would just become another useless holiday on the calendar have been realized. I believe that these two days of celebration have been taken over by commercial concerns to create a market for their gifts and cards. It provides thoughtless, self centered people an opportunity to create the illusion that they care for their family members once a year, whether they do or not. Once a year there is this frenzy of buying gifts and flowers to throw at mom or dad to make them think you care, when you haven’t done anything to honour them all year. For me this is in the same category as the Christmas shopping madness, where people try to use one day of the year to prove their love by buying things. A yearly exercixe in pretending to be peaceful and neighbourly, when the next day they return to self centered selfish behaviour for the rest of the year. Shouldn't we try for peace  and love 365 days of the year? Shouldn't we seek to do good will every day of the year like Dicken's spirit of Christmas Present advised Scrooge? If we're truly appreciative of our family members, shouldn't they be special 365 days a year also?

I say ban them both. Who needs them? Not a day goes by that I don’t realize how much I love my wife and hopefully I’m able to show her that every day. For me, every day is daughter day. My daughter leaves me notes and things on a daily basis and not a day goes by that I’m not baking for my family. I'm not saying you should buy cards and flowers every day: Now and again surprising your loved ones with little things is nice. What's nicer is demonstrating by your actions that you care every day, not just once a year. That seems like a much more sincere practice to me.
Kerr Cuhulain

4 comments:

AmethJera said...

I am not a biological mother, and I never will be. I have never been married,by choice. I resent having Mother's Day shoved into my face every year as if it is some sort of character flaw that I have no children. The truth is that I've spent the last forty years of my life as either a scout leader (boys and girls),Red Cross Instructor,Outward Bound leader, school teacher, church school teacher, or running a coven circle...so it's not like I don't love children or interact with them. More to the point, I have interacted with many children their mother's didn't want or don't have time for...and they give me the recognition and thanks because I've been there for them.

Saigh said...

I don't know, Kerr, now that both my parents are gone from this world, these days mean a whole lot to me. It's not that I don't think about them and try to honor them every day, but somehow just having those days, along with their birthdays (which are near Father's Day), that are THEIRS to me, means a lot to me.

witchinthemaking said...

I can see both points of veiw.. but I agree with Kerr. I am a Mom and my Mom passed almost 6 yrs ago. but I do not think having one day you are REQUIRED to show how much you love her is enough. I have the most amazing daughter who shows me every day that she loves me... My Hubby is the most wonderful man in the world who shows me with ebery breath how much he loves me.. and it happenes all the time not just in May and I do not wait until June to do special things for him.. I di think it has become so over dramatized that the true meaning is so lost in the flowers and fluff...But I must say.. as I looked in the card section and saw a card for "Like a Mom" or " like a Mother" for those that may be childless but were like a mom to someone wonderful.. I was looking for something to place at my Moms grave as the Military cemetary will not allow us to place permenant things.. I still miss my Mom and my Dad( they died 5 months apart) but remember them everyday with little things and love my Hubby and daughter every minute.. so I do not NEED a special day of the year..and if we all(human race) could expend the love energy for each other all day every day what a rush that would be...
Blessings and Happy Everyday

thespacebetween2 said...

Haters going to hate. Mothers day is for anyone whether a biological mother or not, adopted children should give their mum mothers days cards because she is their mum in reality. As for childless people tuff shit don't tell other people how to live their lifes after all Hitler was a great humanist and loved telling people how to live their lives... didnt end to well....